coffee and flowers

Currently listening to: Haven by Nova Amor

In another life, when we had our water cut off people asked (ever helpful) Well, do you buy coffee or make your own? as if denying myself a $2 cup of coffee once a week would have paid the water bill. If only they knew how those paper cups of coffee (handed to me under the dim, comforting lights of the cafe the hushed murmur of voices the chair's crackled leather seat cool on bare Texas legs) were one of the only things that made me feel human after having to leave the five-dollar package of dishrags back on the shelf at the supermarket because to buy them felt too indulgent. Now I buy paper cups of coffee whenever it suits me but only recently have I allowed myself to buy the flowers. It feels decadent like asking for another slice of chocolate cake or staying out late with a friend without paying attention to the time. There's so much I could say about things like fresh coffee and fresh flowers, but I will start with: when it's hard to go to bed at night because you know you'll have to wake up to another day full of hard things it's okay to do the little things that makes you feel human.