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2.25.2012

a letter to laboring mama

dear mama, 

don't be afraid.
know your body.

a huge part of being in control during contractions is letting go. don't let their intensity make you doubt yourself -- float above them, but sink into them. give in. have faith that your body is working and contracting not in vain. don't fight against the waves. if you feel fear because of the pain, remind yourself that millions of women have birthed before you and millions will birth after you. that god created your body to give birth. that your pain is for a purpose. know that each contraction brings you closer to holding your precious baby in your arms. 

your body will not labor in vain -- even prodromal labor, if you experience it, is preparing your uterus for the hard work ahead. remember in those last few weeks, when you are uncomfortable and tired and just want your baby already, that the day will come, and it will forever be magical to you. 

remember that fear creates tension, and tension creates pain. stay completely loose -- your fists, your legs, your arms, your shoulders. when you are laboring hard, the contractions will be so intense that they will demand every bit of your attention. concentrate through each one. remember that they will come in waves -- they will become greater and greater and until they peak, and then they will slowly loosen their grip. relax, though you will want to tense up. breathe, though you will want to hold it in. remember: let go.

as a natural reaction, you will want to tense your body. sort of like... when you are so cold that you can't help shivering, or when you stub your toe and you can't keep from howling and jumping up and down. except it will be harder. of course! but you can do it. you are strong.

do what you need to to keep your body loose. move to the rhythm your body will give you. work with the contraction. give into the contraction. sway back and forth. go on all fours. lean over a table. use low, loud moans rather than high, strained sounds and breathe through loose lips to keep your face from tensing. move your head, shake your hands, roll your hips, put your head back and let the intensity out through your voice. do what feels most comfortable to you. try different positions. listen to your body. breathe. don't forget to breathe. when the wave comes crashing into you and you want to hold your breath, don't. breathe! in and out, with force. send oxygen to your baby. in through your nose and out through your mouth. move and breathe. if something doesn't feel right, tell someone. if you need to move or walk or lay down or not be touched in a certain way, make sure someone knows. 

remind yourself over and over that you are made to do this! tell yourself, just a few moments until this one has passed. listen to a song that will give you strength. watch birth videos to give you encouragement. know that if they can do it, you can do it! trust in the strength of your amazing body, and trust in god, remember that god has blessed you with this amazing honor -- to grow, carry and birth a life. 

when it gets hard, try talking to your baby. tell her you can't wait to hold her. tell her how much you love and adore her. tell her she is doing a good job and that you are working hard with her. remember that the instant she is born, the pain will completely vanish, lost in indescribable joy and amazement, that your heart will be in your throat as you lift her to your chest and kiss her precious, damp head and breath in the sweetest scent -- a scent that to you, as her mama, will smell stronger than to anyone else in the room. you'll remember that scent forever!

you will think over and over about her birth! the birth she chooses will be a part of her story. maybe not everything will go as planned. maybe it be completely different than what you hoped or assumed -- but that's okay. it's the beginning of her story, and it is beautiful. however it unfolds. embrace it.

after she is born, the days that follow will absolutely be the most beautiful days of your life. more beautiful than anything else you will ever experience. you'll be floating in the clouds! every funny face, every whimper, every cry, every time she is nourished by your body -- you will just fall more and more in love. you will watch her and not be able to take your eyes off of her!  everything will mean something different to you. everything will be brighter, more purposeful. you'll feel wiser, and at the same time, like there is so much more mystery to life. love songs will be sung to heryou're just too good to be true, can't take my eyes off of you. you're like heaven to touch, i want to hold you so much. at long last love has arrived, and i thank god i'm alive. you're just too good to be true. can't take my eyes off of you. remember when you are going through the absolute hardest part of labor that you are about to experience the absolute best thing god has gifted humanity. a precious, tiny person that you will love more than anything in the entire world.


2.15.2012

one of those days



oh, lordy. we're pulling ourselves out of the deep, dark, snotty hole of "we feel like crap" and getting over a mild bug (and austen's first illness). finally around 3:30 yesterday afternoon i decided i should try to clean the house after letting it go to sh!t for about a week. today the back bedrooms still hold evidence of the week behind us. dirty diapers piled on the back of the toilet. toys in every corner. blankets strewn about. laundry that is multiplying at an alarming rate; i am trying to find a way to approach this issue that does not involve folding & putting away, obviously. and then, this morning, the day started off in the worst possible way: a tiff with my husband. why is it that i care so much about what this one person thinks? i can forgive myself for things, i can get over arguments with family members, and i can take a deep breath after yelling at my kid and chill out, but when my husband and i aren't in communion, nothing else matters until that is fixed. i love him. i need things to be right with him before i feel remotely functional.

some days, it's not that a bunch of horrible things happen that turn the day sour. most of the time, it's little things sprinkled in here and there, and the frustration just builds. today was one of those days. so, fast forward a few hours later. i was moping around and making lunch for river and myself, when austen started screaming (she gets worked up really quickly) and wanted to nurse RIGHT NOW. i put my meal aside and set river in his high chair to eat, and tried to nurse austen. she's always had some latch issues, and when she's already hungry and mad, it just makes things worse. while she was trying to get in a comfortable position and gulp in between sobs the breastmilk that was letting down just too fast, river decided to stand up in his high chair to reach over and grab an open can of green beans that i sat down on the counter a bit too close to him, and got his fingers stuck in between the sharp top and the open mouth of the can. now, imagine me running over, trying to hold a screaming infant with my boob hanging out, yelling at river to STOP PULLING! LET GO, LET GO! MOMMY WILL HELP YOU! RIVER, STOP PULLING!

oh let me tell you, there's nothing like some baby screaming during a blood-pressure raising situation like such to make you loose your appetite. at that moment i decided that for the sake of my sanity and the well-being of my children, i needed to brew a pot of coffee. i still have not eaten my lunch, but frankly, i am still recovering and tuna tacos just doesn't sound that great right now. (blech, when does tuna ever sound good?) austen is now down for her long afternoon nap and river is reading books for rest time, and not to worry, i have coffee in hand.

2.09.2012

a mama's "good morning!"

in the mornings, i would like to greet the day by sleepily strolling to the living room, opening the blinds, pouring myself a cup of coffee, and finishing the process of a gentle awakening with a good book.

but no.

HEY MAMA, HEY MAMA. I MUNT PEA-BUTTA JAY SANICH. HEY MAMA, HELP ME DO DIS MAMA. HEY MAMA, I GET IN HIGH CHAIR. HEY MAMA, MUNTA BITE? HEY MAMA, YOU WASH MINE HANDS? HEY MAMA I DEET DOWN? HEY MAMA, I WATS SUMPING ON TD. HEY MAMA, DADDY GO WORK, MAMA? HEY MAMA BAPAH GO WORK? SKY AT COOL? AJ AT COOL? EMMA AT COOL? NINI AT HOME? HEY MAMA, WE GO NINI'S HOUSE PEASE? I MUNTA GO NINI'S HOUSE, MAMA! HEY MAMA I TAKE A BAF? HEY MAMA WHERE COLBY? OH DARE HE IS! HEY MAMA DARE'S COLBY! YOOK, MAMA! DARE'S COLBY! HI COLBY! HEY MAMA, YOU TURN DA HEATER? HEY MAMA, C'MERE. MAMA, YOOK MAMA, C'MERE MAMA! TURN DA HEATER! HEY MAMA I GO PAY IN MY MOOM. HEY MAMA, YOU TURN ON DA YIGHT PEASE, MAMA? HEY MAMA YOOK AT MY YOTSEE YOTSA CARS! HEY MAMA, HEY MAMA, HEY MAMA. HEY MAMA!

written in fluent riverish. can you translate? ;)



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