We had that one Texas afternoon
singing along - do you remember that time
downtown in my beat-up van
drips of sweat down our temples
laughing and feeling like two misfits
the adults would never understand
satisfied and cavalier
in our awkwardness -
it wasn’t enough
The exchange of emails
probably hundreds of conversations
I smile every time I remember
how you lost your shoe
(or did I paint that
into my picture of you?)
in a frantic dash
across a record store parking lot
for a photograph with Regina -
but it wasn’t enough
And seeing your sister
in a body cast in the ICU
and listening to you cry
when he didn’t love you back -
but none of it was enough
to maintain at least a fake politeness
of infrequent correspondence
Pithy friendship
in the springtime of youth
on the fringes of life’s summer
exchanging maudlin thoughts
that will, curiously and always,
have a place in my heart.
I wonder how phone calls dwindle
and words quiet
after someone tells you
“You are my favorite person”
I still have the letters
I will probably never throw them away
We are the adults now
we have no time for friendships
buoyed by the innocence
of unprejudiced childhood
I’m not sure what it is, exactly,
that you don’t like about me anymore
but I understand
most friendships are meant to fade
we have served finite purposes
in our individual stories
and I am beginning to be okay with that
I hope only that you know
I leave you with love
