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1.28.2019

how to create a stay-at-home routine you'll stick to

If you struggle with executive function and attention regulation like me, this post is for you! If not, it's probably very oversimplified and perhaps these are things you've been putting into practice since you were a child. But to all my mamas who just can't seem to get it together, I really hope this can be of help to you and make you feel less alone.






I've wanted to adopt a steady routine to my day for years with no success. Our days are very free form and we are relaxed homeschoolers, and there's nothing there to anchor us. Nowhere to be, no real start or finish to anything. I felt I always ended up wasting a lot of time, and yet there wasn't enough time to complete the things I needed to do. I was drowning.

I figured a routine would kickstart my day and give it a more structured feel, but whenever I made a list of what I thought a pleasant, productive morning would look like, I failed to stick to it, time and time again. One thing was very certain -- I did not want our day to be divided into little blocks of time. I knew deep down it wouldn't work for me, but since that's how things were done when I was a child, I had this idea that that was the only "right" way to do things. I needed to let go of that; there had to be another way!


1. Be realistic; embrace your personal ideal - not a perfect ideal

During my year of "embracing imperfection" in 2017, I gave up the idea of ever following a routine because I thought it just wasn't for me. What didn't even occur to me is that in my attempt to create one, I was setting myself up for failure. I needed to admit to myself that I knew I wouldn't wake up at 6am. I knew I wouldn't make a huge meal of scrambled eggs, french toast, and bacon every morning. And I knew I wouldn't start homeschooling immediately after breakfast.

Those were all things I'd considered in the past when trying to form a routine, but none of those things (as romantic as I made them out to be) were things I would actually enjoy doing. I enjoy sleeping in, letting my kids toast their own bread without needing me, and getting around to homeschooling sometime after lunch. (I then had to convince myself that it was actually okay to wait until after lunch to sit down to homeschool. That's the beauty of homeschooling: you are on no one's schedule but your own! Your mornings can be totally lazy and slow every single day, if you want. Crazy, I know.)

Be realistic! If you have never found it easy to wake up at the crack of dawn before, what makes you think it will magically happen now? You have to work yourself up to that, and in the meantime, start by setting expectations that you can meet with pride, that will leave you feeling accomplished; not expectations that will make you feel like you've failed.


2. Make your mornings something you look forward to

I was listening to Marie Kondo's book The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up like every other American those first few days in January, and something resonated with me: Marie asked a client to visualize what they wanted their life to look like. The client mentioned hot tea, yoga, and books (my sister from another mister, I'm telling you) and it occurred to me that I could do the same thing when it came to my mornings. If I hated mornings so much, what could I do to make them something I actually did look forward to... even if it did involve the thing I despise the most -- being in the kitchen? (Unfortunately, the average human needs to eat thrice daily, and the tiny variety under the age of 10 is no different.)

I love to write, and yet never seemed to have time to sit down and do it. Once I get going, I could write for hours, but if the inspiration doesn't hit me, I find it hard to make myself do it. The problem was, I was waiting for inspiration. No matter your art form: drawing, writing, painting, sewing... doing it every day whether you feel like it or not is the only way to grow.

A part of my routine would be to make myself write for ten minutes every morning. I would sit at my desk, put on my favorite classical music and light a candle with a fresh steaming cup of coffee. This would be a pleasant ritual that I would be able to look forward to from the moment I opened my eyes. Every step leading up to that would be one step closer to that time I got to sit down and do something I love, while also pushing myself forward creatively.

What is something that makes you feel accomplished and fulfilled? Something you enjoy doing, that brings you a sense of peace? It doesn't have to be a hobby or skill! Perhaps you like watching TED talks, or maybe writing hand-written letters is something you wish you spent more time doing. Think of something that bring you joy, and include a little hygge - a candle, a special tea blend, peaceful music. Set the mood for your day!


3. Make a list of everything that needs to be done

But before you can sit down and do that one thing that will bring you joy and make you excited to get out of bed in the morning, what really needs to be done? I started by making a list of all the things I had to do. One of these was getting dressed. I didn't really get into the habit of wearing my PJs all day until Chase was born. It makes me feel lazy and gross, like my day never really begins, and I'm much more likely to sit around on the couch all morning if I'm in my comfortable pajamas. I'm not the kind of woman who is going to put makeup on every day, but getting dressed and making myself feel put together goes really far for my mental health and productivity.

I had to put things like wash face and brush teeth on my list, because I will completely forget to do these things unless I am reminded. I also wanted to make sure I took my supplements every morning without fail, because I know to see the results I want, I have to stay consistent, and this was something with which I was really struggling. Laundry is another thing I want to do everyday, because this is the only way it won't pile up and create hours of work for me, and the morning is the perfect time to toss a load into the wash.

And of course, feeding my kids would be on the list. I had dropped my expectations of beautiful breakfasts, and decided to stick to the basics: toast with jam, yogurt and fruit, frozen sausages and oatmeal. Those meals are quick and painless, and my kids can make most of them on their own. If I felt like making a warm, hearty breakfast one morning, I could, but it wasn't mandatory. Yogurt and fruit aren't the exception -- they are the norm. And that is okay.

Since we are being realistic, I can expect my kitchen to be messy every morning! It is what it is; there is no point in feeling shame over it -- but as much as I hate doing the dishes, much of my stress lies in the fact that my kitchen is a wreck, so I decided that after making breakfast and while waiting for my coffee to brew, I would clean the kitchen for ten minutes. That's it! Just ten minutes. That would be enough time to get some of the dishes out of the way and clear a space on my countertops (and my mind).

Start simple. You can't expect to wake up one morning and complete 20 different things you aren't used to doing! Begin with the basics, going off what you already do in the mornings, but have a hard time remembering or sticking to.


4. Use your natural rhythms to create pleasant, productive mornings, changing things as you go

Now knowing what I had to do and wanted to do, I could put these in a list to follow every morning. The thing is, I wanted these tasks to have a natural flow, because in order to be successful, it had to make sense with my natural rhythm.

So here's what I did: I used the Google Keep app to make a list, which can be easily changed by switching the order of the items on your list, and checking it off when it is complete. I made my routine at the start of the year and began following it daily; I started with just the basics, and as time went on I added more things that I found I wanted to include in my morning routine. Here is kind of what my routine looked like when I started out:



As with anyone with an executive functioning deficit, it was quite impossible for me to see the natural flow without actually doing it myself, so as the days went on I learned what worked best and made changes as needed. I worked slow on purpose, so I wouldn't feel overwhelmed or discouraged if I wasn't able to follow the list exactly.

Every day taught me something new; for instance, it wouldn't make sense to come downstairs to make breakfast for my kids, go back upstairs to get dressed for the day, walk back down to start my coffee, and trudge back up to get a basket of laundry for the washer. Now, I try to do all of my "upstairs tasks" in one go, and when I do come downstairs, I bring a pile of dirty laundry with me. I found it also made more sense for the laundry to be one of the first things on the list so that when I was done with everything, I could put "switch clothes to dryer" toward the end of the routine to remind myself. When I felt confident repeating the routine day after day, I would add one or two more tasks and see how and where they would naturally fit in.

Now, this is what my morning routine looks like:




I have broken down larger tasks into manageable steps and have included very small things so I won't forget them. Instead of "get ready for the day," it is get dressed, wash face, etc. Another one I have recently added is "put bread in oven," because I kept forgetting it was sitting there rising, waiting to be baked!

It takes me about an hour and a half to complete the entire routine, mostly because I spend a lot more than ten minutes writing. This means if I get going at 9am, I am just switching the clothes to the dryer at 11am. There is no exact starting and finishing time.

Your natural rhythm will be your guide. If you find it too difficult to complete a task where you've placed it in your list, don't fight it - move it! Maybe it's best done at the end or as one of the very first things you check off. Try to get some of the more difficult tasks done first, so you can truly enjoy your joy-giving activity when you finally sit down to do it, and aren't anxious about what needs to be done afterward.

5. Your evenings will make your mornings easier or harder

Although my routine was so far a success, I am a night owl through and through, and will easily stay up until 1am. (At least it's not 3am like it was in my early twenties!) This makes for a very groggy mama in the mornings and despite my routine, things were still not being done as early in the day as I wanted. If I wanted to be productive and alert in the morning, I needed more sleep, so I had to make some changes to my evening.

Cue the evening routine! My main goals are simple: get ready for bed early, so I'm not waiting until I am exhausted and then put off going to bed even later, and leave my phone plugged in downstairs after 11pm. I tell myself I can stay up as late as I want reading my Kindle in bed... the thing is, I won't last long. My eyes get droopy within ten minutes, and I'm out. And guess what! The nights I've done this, I'm naturally waking up at around 7am, and feeling great. The hard part is having the self control to actually get in bed at 11. I'm still working on it!

Get ready for bed early. Put a blue light filter on your phone. Add a little hygge to help you wind down. Put your devices in another room when you get in bed. Set yourself up for success!


How having a morning routine has changed my days

I crave my routine now! At the end of the day, I am proud of what I have accomplished. With the dishes and laundry getting done first thing in the morning, those are two things over which I finally feel I have some control. The rest of my day feels open and free enough for us to do what we need to do. And my kitchen has been cleaner!

I'm continuing to focus on my word of the year, nourish. I don't feel bad if there is a day it doesn't happen... like last week, when I woke up with a fever, stayed in my PJs, spent hours writing and doing nothing else, and fed my kids peanut butter sandwiches for the second day in a row. That's what my body needed. It was nourishing.

There are no time blocks, no schedule, no rigidity. I'm still figuring some things out -- just this morning, I moved "check planner" to the very front, because I realized I like doing it in bed first thing when I wake up. For the first time ever in my adult life, I am successfully following a routine. My next step is to finally stick to a homeschool routine... I think I'm ready!



If this post resonates with you, I encourage you to gently consider trying it out. There is no one here to shame you if you fail. And failure just means you are still learning what works for you and what doesn't. Maybe you're in a season of your life when following a regular routine isn't a possibility. Or maybe you are just in the right season to start. Whatever the case, I just hope I've encouraged you enough to know that when you're ready, it is possible!

1.15.2019

ten years

When you're 21, ten years ago you were a child.

At the age of 11,
you probably still climbed trees,
made bowls of mud and grass soup in the yard,
and perhaps even still slept with a favorite doll.

Even at 24, or 27, though mud soup and dolls have probably been laid aside, the person you were ten years ago was still very much a child. There's such a markable difference between the ages; now, your life is full of things that were once dreams, or maybe not even a twinkling in your eye ten years before. You had so much to learn, so much life to do before even grasping the basics.



Between those years and the now, you became an adult.

But at 31, ten years ago you were already an adult. A baby adult taking tentative, shaky steps, but an adult, no less. The great shift has already happened.

To me, the scariest thing about being an adult is how fast the decades go by, having now experienced a full one in grown-up skin -- why is it that when you're a child, a year seems a lifetime away, and now a year is something that seems so close at hand?

It's only a year away.
It'll happen before you know it.
A year.
That's nothing.

Those are things we tell ourselves. I am already mourning how fast will go the decade before me. Will I sit here and write, at the age of 41, that I don't even know where the last ten years have gone?

I started this little blog ten years ago, about a month after learning I was pregnant with my first baby, and the day after my twenty-first birthday. I remember the very day I sat down and wrote the first blog post about how it felt to have life growing inside me. How I never felt alone or even forgot I was pregnant, because it was all I'd thought about from the moment I found out. I remember very distinctly turning over and over in my mind the thought that I felt like "a kid having a kid." And in many ways, I was.

But a month before, when I had still been just 20 years old, I discovered that I was now a mother. I didn't have room to be a kid anymore. From that millisecond on, the decisions I made were no longer full of self, but full of the tiny human my body was creating.

My life was not my own;
I shared it directly,
blood and breath and bone,
with another soul.

Since marriage and pregnancy happened so close together for me as I broke out into adulthood, this blog has in many ways recorded my leaving the cocoon of childhood and my metamorphoses into becoming an adult, wife, and mother, all within a very short amount of time. I made a lot of mistakes.

Twenty-one-year-olds typically think they are very Knowledgeable and have discovered Secrets to Life of which No One Else is Aware. Thirty-one-year-olds know they have so much more to learn than they could ever realize.

What they never tell you is that you'll always feel like the same person. You don't wake up, step into a new day, and become an adult. You wake up and ponder, "I think I am an adult now?" Many times this will happen. And always, with a question mark. One day, it will just stick. Yes, I have made it. Here I am.

My daughter is four.
I have such vivid memories of being four.
Colorful, emotional memories.

My parents trying to convince me to sit on the bridge's railing next to them for a family portrait in front of the Cinderella castle at Disney World, while I absolutely refuse to comply as images of falling into the river below, my parents frantically grasping at my ankles, go through my head.

Wandering in and out of the wooden playground equipment in the fenced-in yard at my preschool, comparing the words "white" and "right" quietly to myself in a whisper, wondering why they sounded the same when I said them, but not when other people said them. (People who could pronounce their Rs.)

Sitting in my yellow plastic bike seat behind my daddy, a clunky helmet Velcroed beneath my chin, watching life and cars zoom past in the golden evening light, on my way to Friendly's to get a clown-faced scoop of ice cream with an M&M smile and upside down cone as a hat.

I am still the little girl in the yellow bike seat. The onion-skin layers of my brain have recorded almost 30 years of memories, and like the well-loved pages of a book, I read them over and over. It is not until I consider the width of the pages, all stacked together, that I realize those memories are 10 years old, 20 years old. And they are well loved; I am lucky.

I'm going to take it you're still the little girl, too.
The little girl under the dappled shade of the big trees at grandma's.
The little girl in the musty back seat of your daddy's car.
The little girl on your grandfather's strong, tall shoulders.

Do you feel the same?



It's always strange, considering time and how it moves. It is water flowing between our fingers. It sounds cliche to say, but I cannot grasp that it has been ten years since my first post on this blog.

I don't even know where the last ten years have gone. But here's to the next ten, and the next. And however many I get. Not everyone gets to live for 31 years. I am grateful. I take them, I will not deny them, and I thank God for them. Happy birthday to me, and to my little blog.


1.10.2019

how i'm setting goals for 2019

Better Than Before, by Gretchen Rubin
The audiobook was so motivating, I bought a hardcopy so I could write in it!


I have always had a shaky relationship with new year's resolutions. At the end of the 2017, I went back as far as my blog goes to find all my posts discussing my resolutions. I was humored by the fact that every list I came across contained nearly the same things, and yet I had not consistently stuck to any of my goals in nine years. The way I wanted to function was not even close to how I spent my days. My values were identical to the values I held as a new mother at the tender age of 21; I had romanticized what I wanted the little details of my life to look like, and yet year after year, I failed to reach my goals. I couldn't stay focused. I couldn't stick to anything long term... and I kept adding more to the list as the years went on!

Here is the first list on my blog, from 2010:

- Finish a drawing every week
- Take a picture every day
- Start running
- Read 30 books

I wanted to push myself creatively, take better care of my body, and make sure to set aside time to read. Every year, my list of resolutions grew, but echoed the first. My list from 2014 had a whopping 21 goals! I'm not sure what I was thinking. Did I honestly assume that after a track record of barely clinging to one or two of my resolutions past March, that I would suddenly adopt all twenty one good habits for an entire twelve months, simply because they made it on The List? Check out these lofty intentions:

- Get on a routine
- Drink a lot of water
- Keep up with the laundry
- Read 35 books
- Read only two books at a time
- Run a half-marathon
- Give up soft drinks for a year
- Take a picture of my kids every week
- Choose grace
- Stop yelling
- Save money
- Read to my kids every day
- Less TV for the kids
- Stop eating out
- Blog once a week
- Eat less sweets and fried foods
- Do Whole 30
- Go to bed with a clean house every night
- Go to sleep early so I can wake up early
- Eat greens every day
- Juice on a regular basis

I bet you're wondering if I ever, at all, in the history of resolution-making, actually kept some of them. And the truth is, while I'm generally terrible at sticking to anything, if I look back at the past nine years, I do have a number of accomplishments under my belt, of which I'm proud. I mean, I would hope... nine years ago, I was 22, and hopefully no one is the same person they were at 22.

But I was tired of creating unrealistic expectations over and over which ultimately felt kind of selfish, because every year I was making these goals to "better myself," but I wasn't actually accomplishing them. I needed a deeper change. I needed to shift my focus from myself, to God. For my word of the year in 2017, I chose heaven. My hope was that in my interactions with people, in the choices I made, or whenever I felt discontent, I would remember that when all is said and done, I am heaven-bound, and to focus on my ultimate goal: to be more like Jesus.

I don't think I'm surprising anyone by saying that I did not keep my focus on heaven the entire year, and certainly not on a daily basis. There were months at a time where I actually forgot my word of the year was heaven. But there were a lot of times I gave a second thought to the actions I wanted to take, but I knew that by choosing heaven, ultimately those choices would be beneficial to my spirit.

There was one situation in particular where I wanted to call someone out and threaten with an ultimatum. I am a very non-confrontational person, so this was a nerve-wracking decision for me, but I wanted them to know how badly they hurt me, that I wouldn't put up with their behavior anymore, and that if they didn't change then I was done because it was too painful to deal with them. I stewed and boiled and gritted my teeth until I was calm to send the message so I wouldn't be speaking in anger. But as the weeks went by and tumult still simmered in my chest, one day I had a sudden mind shift: how could I be Jesus to this person? How could I act in a way that was indicative of my identity as a follower of Christ? Instead of my focus being on myself -- my discomfort, my hurt feelings, my need to let someone know they hurt me -- I shifted my focus to heaven.

I was instantly met with this flood of peace. I realized on a level something I hadn't considered before: this wasn't my problem! I didn't have to take on this person's negativity. I didn't have to absorb their emotions, I didn't have to view my value as how they valued me. How they treated me was not a reflection of the person I am, it was a reflection of who they were. Once I knew that I couldn't show this person Christ if I lashed out (even under the guise of self-care), the decision was not a hard one. It was more important that my relationship with this person remained peaceful and gentle. I would continue to support them, love them, and talk to them. If they were negative, I wouldn't feed into it. I would simply empathize with love and compassion for all those involved. Through this process, I was able to let go of a lot of bitterness I had carried with me for years. 

I have a new perspective going into this year. I am less focused on bettering myself for my sake, and have shifted my intentions entirely - how can I reflect Christ? I need to change my thinking from "I want to be a better person," to "I want to be the person God has created me to be." This takes the pressure off me because I know that I am fearfully and wonderfully made, frazzled and chaotic as I may feel at times. God created me with intention. All I need to do is disregard outward expectations for what makes a "better person" in my eyes or the eyes of society, and lean into how he has already made me to be. 

My experience with giving up resolutions and instead focusing on heaven deserves a blog post all its own, but I can tell you that it was a breath of fresh air and allowed me to reevaluate what I believed about goal setting and living a life for Christ. My prayer life changed, I become more content in my current season of life, and my mental health has improved.

Despite this change in my spiritual life, for the past few months, I've felt overwhelmed and burdened with everything on my plate. Homeschooling, mothering, cleaning, cooking, churching -- everything has left me feeling like I'm drowning. Usually these feelings of being utterly overwhelmed last no more than a few days, but this time it had been months. They weren't related to my mental health either, as my anxiety has been more under control and besides a few days of really bad PMS, I have had no unexplained feelings of depression or hopelessness.

Something had to change. I've never felt so discontented in motherhood for such a long period of time. I felt selfish for even feeling discontent, because my life is so great. My kids are healthy, my husband loves me, and my family lives nearby.

My discontent was in the details. I have told myself over and over for four years that motherhood is my mission and I believe that wholeheartedly. Right now, it is my holy occupation, my main focus, my God-given assignment. I even led a Bible study on the mission of motherhood last summer! But I felt like I was doing the same thing every day, all day long, and seeing no results. My house was becoming more cluttered, I was yelling at my kids a lot, and I felt like I was spending more time putting out fires than I was sitting down with my kids and actually mothering. I felt like more of my interactions with my kids were negative than positive. Not exactly... holy. I wanted to do something outside of motherhood as well, to really embrace "mother culture" (besides reading), but I didn't have the time or resources, because I felt like 99% of my energy was focused on just getting through the day.

I don't want to live a life where I feel like my only goal is to get through the day. That's never how I pictured motherhood or my life in my thirties. I want to connect with my children, to laugh and play and enjoy them, and I want my home to be a place I look forward to waking up to every morning. I don't want to stay up until 2am because that's the only time I get to myself, and I don't want that time to be the only time when I feel calm and fulfilled. I am tired of feeling exhausted and dysfunctional in the morning.

I don't know if it was reading Girl, Wash Your Face (which honestly, kinda irritated me), Tiffany Jenkin's live video on Instagram where she encouraged everyone to believe in their dreams, reading Better Than Before by Gretchen Rubin, or my IG friend Mandy's positive messages she shares everyday, but I'm going to assume it was a glorious mix of all four (what I did take from GWYF must have hit in all the right spots) -- but on January 1st, I woke up ready to kick ass. I had a plan in mind, and it was going down. Guys... I am NOT a go-getter. I've never felt that I could ever be successful or accomplished. Ever. This is new, and totally weird.

If I were to put my resolutions in a nice, concise list, it would look like this:

- Follow a morning and evening routine
- Read for 10 minutes every day
- Write for 10 minutes every day
- Consistently post on my blog
- Pray for my heart's desires
- Conjure the gumption to attend church every Sunday
- Track my cycle/eating habits/emotions/physical health every day
- Set specific times to wash the dishes
- Make a dream board
- Take Plexus every day
- Do the laundry every day
- Write in my planner every day
- Stop mindless scrolling (on the internet)
- Stop mindless spending (Amazon/Target dollar spot are my weakness)
- Only read what's on my shelves (no more bringing new books into the house)
- Speak positively to my kids/parent gently (no habitual complaining about their behaviors under the guise of "parenting")
- Learn Clair de Lune on the piano
- Read 30 e-books/tree-books
- Listen to my body
- Eat out less, make food at home even if it's not "perfect" or ideal healthy food

I prefer to not have it all written out, because that is super intimidating. Rather, these are gentle steps to get me closer to my ultimate life goals. They are reminders, nudges, whispers. Several of the things on my list are built on the pillars of my morning and evening routines, which I have been faithfully following for eleven days now, and so there is a natural rhythm that happens when I accomplish them. I am riding on the waves of my resolutions, rather than fighting to meet 21 unrealistic goals every day. I am not tied down by them, they are there to lift me up. Some of these might seem incredibly simple, but I need those simple baby steps. One thing I learned last year that has been absolutely transformative for me is how my brain functions. (For me, the steps between starting and finishing are difficult and sometimes feel impossible.)  I need things broken down very clearly, step by step. I rely heavily on habit "triggers."

Take "set a specific time to wash the dishes," for example. Although I'm in the kitchen every day, washing dishes, my kitchen is nearly always messy and I constantly feel unsatisfied and angry about the state of that room (yes, angry!). I have set two specific times to actually go into the kitchen to wash dishes for just ten minutes; for me this is the ten minutes it takes my coffee to brew in the morning, and ten minutes immediately following putting my kids to bed. This isn't enough time to clean the entire kitchen, but it does guarantee two things: 1) that I will begin, and therefore will do a lot more than ten minute's worth of work (because starting is the hardest part), and 2) that if I really don't have the emotional energy to clean the whole kitchen, I know it's only ten minutes, and I can stop when that short amount of time is up. No guilt. My kitchen isn't any cleaner than it was before, but it's getting clean, and I don't feel controlled by the constant anxiety that I need to do the dishes. The dishes will be done in their allotted times.

The last two are also good examples: my goal is to eat at home more, make food from scratch, and listen to my body. Not "eat healthier," not "eat balanced macronutrients," not restrict myself from sugar or grain, but just to cook and eat at home and respect my body's wishes. If that means we eat hard boiled eggs, roast chicken, and bananas every day -- fine. I know that by simply cooking and eating at home, our diet will improve incredibly. This is a gentle step that will get me closer to my goal of eating balanced macronutrients. Already, I am eating less sugar because it's starting to make me nauseous. Two days in a row, I have eaten something I regret and immediately felt the repercussions. The second day, I purposely didn't finish my meal, because I knew my body was telling me it was not cool with it. I also only eat when I'm hungry, which is usually at 1pm and 6pm. That is my body's natural rhythm.

Another example is "stop mindless scrolling." Rather than, "go on the phone less," I know that most of my time wasted on the internet is when I get stuck in that Facebook/Instagram vortex of refresh refresh refresh. So by cutting off mindless scrolling, I'm making sure my time on the internet is positive and worthwhile, and I'm not turning social media into some kind of enemy.

My word this year is nourish. This words packs so much for me, and feels so damn good. My focus is to nourish myself and the people around me. When I'm doing something such as staying up too late, or scrolling mindlessly on Facebook, simply asking myself, "Is this nourishing to my body/brain/spirit?" gets me out of that weird limbo funk where I'm doing something not great for myself and yet can't stop. I'm not focused on the negative; I'm focused on what's positive. When I'm interacting with my kids and correcting someone, I ask, "Is how I'm speaking to my child nourishing? How can I switch this moment to be nourishment for my child, instead of negative." Y'all it's so good! I'm seriously psyched about what this has done for me this year already.

What is your relationship with new year's resolutions like? I hope this year you are choosing something that lifts you up, rather than makes you feel like a failure. You are worth it. Do you have a word of the year? And if you've had words of the year in the past, how have they impacted your life? I would love to hear. It's so interesting how something as simple as focusing on a word can make small changes to better our lives.


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