Here is a truth fact: I had planned to have a very intentional Advent with my kids this Christmas season. There were stories, crafts, and projects involved... heck, I was even commissioned to write some of the stories for the Advent Collection from Rooted Childhood and was very excited to share them with my kids! For whatever reason, I kept putting it off and putting it off, until one day it was suddenly December 15th and I realized I should give up hope that we could fit 25 days of advent into the next 9 days until Christmas Eve. Next year, right? :(
I should know that when I enter into something with expectations, it doesn't work out. Call it perfectionism, fear of failure, task paralysis, or what have you... I have learned my personal key to success is letting go of expectations and letting things spring from a place of joy and tenderness.
Yesterday, I let this joy take over and set my kids up with a Christmas movie and the supplies they needed to thread popcorn garland. I set everything up before I told them what they were going to do (I've learned this is another key to my success - often, my children's expectations, impatience, and never-ending questions add more stress to my already overloaded mind, because verbally explaining how things work is not a skill of mine and takes a few spoons).
Then I LET GO.
River sat out -- too big, too cool, I suppose. Chase definitely ate more popcorn than she actually stringed, and I ended up finishing her abandoned garland when she lost interested. Austen persisted and finished a lovely garland, and wasn't even upset when her string got tangled. I didn't have any oranges, so I couldn't dry orange slices, which is my favorite part - I think they are just so lovely.
All this to say... there is a big *letting go* involved in these things. There have to be solutions to problems so Mom doesn't get stressed. There has to be an acceptance that things won't go as planned, that attitudes will be disappointing, that quarrels will happen.
So, to review. My List of Things Required to Do Projects with Children During the Holidays When You Have the Propensity to Be a Grumpy Mom:
• Let it come from a place of joy and pleasure, not "because I have to."
• Grab onto the inspiration when it arises; don't wait for the perfect moment, because the perfect moment doesn't exist.
• Don't tell your kids ahead of time, just set things up and let it be a fun surprise.
• Have a realistic idea of how long will it take, including set up and clean up. Sometimes it will take a bit longer, but sometimes it will take only a few minutes and part of your hesitation to start is unfounded on the anxiety that it has to be this huge thing that will take up the majority of your day. It probably isn't.
• Think of your biggest hangup - is it the fighting over the popcorn bowl? The fear of smudged cranberry juice in your floorboards? Saliva in the icing from licked fingers? (delicious) - and come up with a solution before you even set up.
• Let go of expectations: understand that sometimes there will be messes and bad attitudes, and this doesn't reflect the mom you are, the fun that can still be had, nor does it show that your children will be sociopaths when they are adults. I promise.
There are five days left until Christmas, which means I can spend the next four days reading each of my Advent stories and preparing the manger to receive baby Jesus. No, I didn't start at the beginning of Advent. No, I won't be able to do all the crafts included in the collection. I will never be the perfect Instagram mom and YEAH my giant 10-year-old will probably complain.
But it will set my children's hearts on why we celebrate Christmas and will create good memories, and I don't think twenty years down the road, my kids will look back and say, "why didn't mom have it together enough to start Advent ON the first day of Advent?" Hopefully.
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