tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9187144264557802842.post7036643910513010174..comments2023-06-27T10:58:18.788-05:00Comments on leaves of my tree: judging another woman's birthWittyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14983734015223769512noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9187144264557802842.post-43366501812242519732013-03-16T18:15:21.980-05:002013-03-16T18:15:21.980-05:00Thanks for sharing!Thanks for sharing!Wittyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14983734015223769512noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9187144264557802842.post-86291248244904388832012-07-19T11:48:32.905-05:002012-07-19T11:48:32.905-05:00I agree that we need to just rejoice in a woman...I agree that we need to just rejoice in a woman's birth and not judge it. <br /><br />I also know that it is sometimes hard to stop judging. But it is important to try! <br /><br />I did a guest post about "birth wars" and why we need to stop. http://rixarixa.blogspot.com/2012/05/ending-birth-wars.htmlEnjoy Birthhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13227246774801636777noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9187144264557802842.post-63301597717396474302012-07-11T13:03:58.867-05:002012-07-11T13:03:58.867-05:00I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't begin ...I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't begin to imagine living with the pain of losing your precious son. My heart aches for you. Thank you for your thoughts and the reminder that every second countsWittyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14983734015223769512noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9187144264557802842.post-44061377233859070832012-07-11T09:37:08.720-05:002012-07-11T09:37:08.720-05:00Personally, having had my son from my second pregn...Personally, having had my son from my second pregnancy (first was a miscarriage), pass away during labour, dying during the emergency cesarean after he got into distress and his heart rate started dropping, I think well done to the midwife for checking the heart beat. You see every second and minute counts had something been wrong. Using the doppler may be classed as some as an intervention - but if it is it is done with the best intention - of trying to have a healthy mother and baby at the end of the birth. I would far rather this small check be made, than something happen to someone else like happened to me. <br /><br />I love your respectful reply to the post, and the reminder that we never really know the full story of anything we see online.melhttp://www.finleysfootprints.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9187144264557802842.post-86558965056753703782012-07-11T02:17:31.480-05:002012-07-11T02:17:31.480-05:00I think finding a balance will exist when one is p...I think finding a balance will exist when one is passionate about something. I'm there with you, girl.Wittyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14983734015223769512noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9187144264557802842.post-73597559700417821242012-07-10T15:33:36.784-05:002012-07-10T15:33:36.784-05:00Thank you! You have beautifully stated the way I ...Thank you! You have beautifully stated the way I feel! So often when people make choices we don't agree with or fully understand we judge. I have judged and still find myself in that place. In the past few months I've come to realize that there is a place to push for more education and more understanding and then there is a place to back off because in a lot of cases the ones we are trying to educate don't want it. I have found in personal experience that I have alienated mothers that I wanted to be friends with because I didn't realize that my understanding wasn't wanted. Now I struggle to find the balance for open discussion and learning without judging and pushing mothers away and there by pushing potential friends away.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03117955596684157030noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9187144264557802842.post-72369954298918036842012-07-10T12:26:25.835-05:002012-07-10T12:26:25.835-05:00Thank you! And I can SO painfully relate. For me, ...Thank you! And I can SO painfully relate. For me, it was when close friends or family would make different choices, or would plan homebirths and end up having c-sections, that I realized how hurtful my attitude could be to THEM, and the last thing I wanted to do was hurt them or make them feel guilty about what happened. That did happen to my cousin, and I felt horrible that she suffered that much while I unknowingly preached about the "evils" of hospital birth. I guess that's just part of the learning stage though. You're completely right about pushing people away -- sometimes all the preaching does more harm than good!Wittyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14983734015223769512noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9187144264557802842.post-39094219338960207552012-07-10T12:23:01.421-05:002012-07-10T12:23:01.421-05:00Thank you so much for your comment! I LOVE what yo...Thank you so much for your comment! I LOVE what you have to say and completely agree! It seems in America, we want so badly to get as far from medicalized birth as possible, that sometimes we "trust birth" a little too much. "We are not scared, we are professionally cautious at all times." -- Wonderfully said!Wittyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14983734015223769512noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9187144264557802842.post-16912991390423842892012-07-10T02:01:22.449-05:002012-07-10T02:01:22.449-05:00As a former midwife (from Holland, Netherlands) I ...As a former midwife (from Holland, Netherlands) I would like to react on this post.<br />There always seems to be a struggle between people who guide people through home deliveries and people who guide them through in hospital. Even in Holland where home delivery is a normal choice for the 'to be parents'. <br />The place of birth differs, nothing else. <br />No reason not to check the heartbeat. Seconds matter at home as well as in hospital. The medical information you need during birth is not something to discuss with the woman in labor or the father... That would cause quite a stir. As the midwives brain will be very busy with all her medical knowledge, she will talk you through birth as supportive as see can, with a calm and lowered voice. Man we can have headaches after wonderful births like this, and are always happy babies come out normal. Same when we are in hospital, you can not see every default with ultrasound, not even with the newest technology. So we are not scared, we are professionally cautious at all times. <br />And can be happy and cheerful at the same time, man what a job, haha! Dear mom of Austen and River (and Emma? could not make that out for sure) I am stunned (in a good way) by your picture right after the birth of Austen. This is exactly what giving birth is all about. Not leaving out all other births in less natural ways, they are beautiful as well! kind regards, Jacobien Amsterdam the Netherlands.Knutselatelierhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11421068825902541795noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9187144264557802842.post-7142960663028343262012-07-10T00:46:05.404-05:002012-07-10T00:46:05.404-05:00Perfectly and beautifully said! I have been guilty...Perfectly and beautifully said! I have been guilty of this until a family member opened my eyes - it was never my heart or intention to be hurtful but I have been. I have alienated people with my bias and judgment when in my heart all I want is to educate, but the education has to be wanted. Otherwise I'm just pushing my beliefs on people and pushing them further away. I have found when I back off people actually come to me for advice, which I give respectfully and honestly.<br /><br />Great post!Joy@WDDCHhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03709113785857792361noreply@blogger.com